I really wanted to do this post because it's something I think about a lot. If there is one thing I've learned being a first time mom, it's that you need to do what's best for your child, not what "they" say is best. No matter what any person or doctor says, every child is different and has different needs and should be treated so. Don't ever let someone make you feel bad or ashamed of something that you do because it's really none of their business in the first place.
One thing that really made me think about it a lot was the Time Magazine cover. While I personally would never breastfeed a child over the age of one, it doesn't mean that she's a bad mom because she chooses to do so. A mom can choose to breastfeed for 3 years or not at all. Nether makes her a bad mom. I personally believe that breast milk is the best thing for my child, but breastfeeding is really really hard, especially if you have supply problems. The only reason I've stuck with it so long is because I made a promise to myself when I was pregnant that no matter what, I would do it for at least 6 months. It's something that is important to me to see all the way though. Ultimately though, that is my belief and should not be forced on other people.
I like to consider myself somewhere in the middle of attachment parenting and conventional parenting. I like parts of both and highly disagree with parts of both. My main point though, is that every child is different and while one child may be really independent from day one and not want to be held a lot, the next child may require lots of attention. Just because your friend's child slept in their crib from day one and they let them "cry it out", don't feel like you need to do that as well. You do what you feel is best for your child. I feel like you just know what feels right and what doesn't. For example, Anderson slept in the bassinet part of her pack'n'play for the first couple of months. Once she outgrew it, I simply took it out and tried to lay her flat in the bottom of the pack'n'play. No matter how deep of a sleep she was in, she would start crying as soon as you set her down and would not stop. I tried and tried for a couple of nights and ended up letting her sleep in her swing. After doing lots of research about crying it out, I ultimately decide that it was not for me. Not that I am judging anyone who chooses to do that, I just didn't like what the studies show doing it at such a young age (under the age of 4-5 months). For the most part though, it just didn't feel right to me. Finally, after about 3 or 4 weeks in the swing, I tried the pack'n'play again one day and she slept in it for about an hour. It felt so good and reassuring that I didn't have to let her "cry it out" and scream for every night for a week. When she was ready, she did it on her own. It just reassured me that I did the right thing for her. While the "cry it out" method is not for me, I'm not saying that I never let her cry. If she is in her exersaucer and decides she wants out, I don't immediately go get her when she starts to fuss. I will finish the dishes or whatever it is that I am doing before I go get her. I am totally okay with ignoring the fussy cry or mad cry, but it's the uncomfortable/scared cry that I won't ignore. This is the cry that she would do when I first started trying to put her in the bottom of the pack'n'play. Once your baby is about a month or so old, you can distinctly tell the difference between all of the cries.
My point is all of this is so say that even though I don't choose it for my child, it doesn't mean that crying it out wasn't the best option for another child. EVERY SINGLE child is different and needs different things. I just know that at first, for the first month or so, I was so scared of other mom's judging me, but now I realize how stupid that is. The crazy thing about being a mom is that every other mom thinks their way is best, when in reality it's not. It might have been best for their child, but is not ideal for mine. You are your child's best advocate and as long as they are safe, happy and healthy, don't let anyone make you feel ashamed of what you are doing.
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